FONKAR. GAME. STOP.

I have an incredible aversion to politics. Here’s an example why: In the back and forth that’s currently going on, the vice president made a comment that ruling the nation is like driving a bus. The driver knows the road, he knows how fast to go and if/when to slow down or speed up. If the passengers feel he’s doing something wrong they can speak up but they have to trust his judgement in his role as driver. I’m paraphrasing. It was an allegory – a metaphor if you like – for the current presidency and a call to trust in the president.

On one of the numerous saturday political talk shows, an “honourable” from the opposition was asked to give his take on these comments. I kid you not, this twerp said that the vice president was encouraging reckless driving on Ghanaian roads and proceeded to talk about recent accident rates and how the vice president had just given drivers the right to ignore the calls of passengers who asked them to slow down on the roads. I’m paraphrasing, but only modestly. He’s an MP. He makes laws for you if you live in Ghana. And that’s why i cannot stand politics. It’s all so childishly petty and sometimes fuelled by shockingly unintelligent rhetoric which is quite disturbing to me.

But, i’m going to say one very quick thing and not speak again on this issue until 2012.

Nana Konadu Rawlings is running against the sitting president for the flagbearership of the NDC. IF she wins, she becomes flagbearer of the NDC, ousts Atta-Mills the incumbent President, and becomes the first female candidate to run for the Presidency.

I say IF she wins because I listened to a very interesting station 94 point  something that was covering the big ceremony she had.There was a huge crowd of supporters. But most of the supporters they spoke to weren’t delegates – i.e they didn’t have the power to elect her as flagbearer. Or even vote.

They ranged from aggrieved members of the party, like the former general secretary, to members of the 31st December movement which i gather is one big cheerleading squad and another one of them was an ex-soldier turned prophet who said the Lord had revealed her presidency to him. I remember well, because until that point I’d never heard the religious title “Major-Prophet” so and so.

FACT #1: She wont win unless she has real delegates with elective power on her side. Are there any?

Why is she standing? Female empowerment? Healthy competition for the incumbent prez? An even Better Ghana? Maybe. But if you ask me, I’d say Uncle Jerry is just pissed off with Atta Mills. If he could stand for elections himself he would’ve but since he can’t, who better than “Na-na”?

Is it possible they feel he’s constantly shocking and disappointing them so they might as well reclaim their birthright and rule as intended? Just a hunch.

As a result, the NDC has managed to split itself into FONKAR: Friends of Nana Konadu Agyeman Rawlings and GAME: Get Atta-Mills Elected.

FACT #2:These guys will implode their own party if this ego trip continues. The strength of that party has already been broken in half. If Mrs. Rawlings wins the elections, she will be the NDC’s candidate for 2012. True. And congratulations to her. However…

FACT #3: the NDC will lose that election.

FACT #4: The NPP will win that election. Everyone will just vote for the them including most of the GAME faction who will quite predictably  either defect to the opposition, use it as a last course for revenge, or just lose interest completely, because…

FACT #5: Ghana is not ready for a female president.

Yeah, i said it.

We may act like we are, but when it boils down to it, even the US wasn’t. Not in 2012. maybe in 2020. After we’ve had an awe inspiring female VP. Maybe.

So unless the NDC is spending all this money and making all this noise just to lose an election, they need to realize that fights happen and opinions will differ. You can’t just go off and pick a new father when your current daddy pisses you off. You cant just divorce your flagbearer and marry a new one. This isn’t a marriage.

Y’all need to grow up and get along, dammit. Hold hands, sing a song and plot against the enemies and traitors or sumn’. Whatever works for you guys.

Meanwhile let the Presidednt do what he needs to. And what he needs to do is re-brand himself. Get him some image consultants and a new suit. Let him hit the gym, and speak more authoritatively. Obviously,”my bredess and sistess… ” is not enough to get people on your side.

Humility is good. But sometimes it can be taken for granted. When that happens it’s time to switch to assertiveness and visible authority. It’s time to switch Sir,. I promise you.

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