Find me on Uber. 

When I say I’m registering as an Uber driver, my friends laugh. All of them. Even those I only consider acquaintances.  Allegedly, I [sometimes] drive fast[er than most]. Because who has time!? Apparently Uber is supposed to be an enjoyable ride. Fine, but I disagree that enjoyable  necessarily equates to slow. 

Late for a meeting? you don’t want the slow calm Uber. You want the guy with the V6 attitude. Love interest says ‘home alone’? Your wife in labour? Late for work? You want me. Because I get that you have places to go and people to see. Urgently.  

Why can’t your Uber ride leave you in a state of wide eyed, near orgasmic, heart gripping exhilaration? Exactly.  Plus, I really dislike strangers in my car; ergo the quicker I can offload them, the… oh… wait. Wait. 

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